Life can take unexpected turns, and for many, it's a journey filled with twists and turns that may include some very painful turns. I haven’t met anyone who hasn’t felt the pain of someone wronging them. Sadly, I frequently encounter people who say they will never forgive that person who hurt them. I say “sadly” because a person living in unforgiveness has their mind in a jail and the unforgiveness becomes the filter through which they live life.
Unforgiveness happens when you are unwilling or unable to forgive someone for hurting you, upsetting you, betraying you or breaking your trust. It is an emotional anchor that ties you to the pain of the past. The refusal to forgive can imprison individuals in a perpetual cycle of anger and anguish, hindering their ability to move forward and fostering a sense of unceasing conflict within.
In this blog, I'll talk about a realisation that totally changed my outlook and the way I live. This may sound incredibly simple but it is a profound truth that will free you from pain in your past. When you realise and accept that God does not owe you anything, it means you understand that everything you have is a gift from God and not something you deserve or are entitled to.
This understanding makes it easier to forgive others because you no longer feel a sense of entitlement or injustice when somebody wrongs you. Instead, you can show grace and mercy to others as God has shown to you.
I know it is a simple realisation but it is a huge insight that you are insignificant to God. That you actually aren’t important! That your life is of little consequence in the eternal scheme of things.
Somehow realising that you are a nobody is a massive step towards growing up and facing the reality of life. No more running away from who you actually are.
When you reach this point, then you can accept with humility the grace and compassion offered to you through Jesus. You can accept a new identity that has purpose and hope.
I know that I will undoubtedly be hurt again in the future but I now have the tools to deal with it. I proved that the other day when I was told of yet another betrayal in the past from someone I had trusted. I had immediately shot myself down with feelings of not being good enough, of never having been loved. I could’ve spent the day crying.
I took myself in hand and reminded myself of who I was in Christ. I took up the sword of the Spirit and declared myself loved (Jer. 31:3), that nothing can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom. 8:38-39), that God sings over me (Zeph.3:17), that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psa. 139:13-14), that God loves me with an everlasting love (Jer.31:3) and that God lavished His love on me and called me His child (I John 3:1).
Amazingly all the pain dissipated and I felt wonderful. Having Jesus as your Lord and Saviour provides you the same power and assurance to be free of emotional pain and unforgiveness.